The hike to Stecoah Gap was arduous to say the least. 14 miles of extreme terrain. My right ankle was swollen and sore but there was little bruising so I decided to press on. I passed the time singing about love and thinking about Pam.
The last thing I wanted when I started this hike was to have something taking me back in my mind. I wanted to live every new day with no restrictions or reservations. I tried to think about the now, but my mind drifted back to Franklin, to three days of bliss with Pam. I started to try to put her out of my mind but realized it was futile. Furthermore I realized how I had been smiling like the village idiot through miles of thigh burning ups and knee crunching downs.
I had caught the bug. Despite any plans I had to the contrary, I had fallen in love. It's strange how things happen when you're just cruising through life, minding your own and BLAMMO! There it is and you can't deny it.
So I continued on. Left foot, right foot, Pam, left foot, right foot, Pam..... She moves like a cat, the way she calls me "darlin", the excitement and reverence she showed at viewing the mountains for the first time. I smiled remembering how she dug her hands into the mud when we mined for sapphires together. The fun we have, the completeness we feel together, warm hugs and sweet kisses. All of these things surface in my memory as my feet continue plodding north.
I stopped to take pictures of wildflowers that were blooming. I have been snapping pics of different kinds as I see them. I'm getting shot's of trail dogs too. At the end of the hike I'll post a compilation.
When I arrived at Stecoah Gap I was whipped. I found a six pack of PBR just before the picnic area ( Yay trail magic!) so I grabbed one and sat to wait for Morris.
Just then a group of hikers got dropped off after hitching to town for supplies. Machine, one of the warrior hikers( they are hiking to raise money for disabled veterans. Www.walkoffthewar.com) gave me a patch for my bag after I told him about the beer up the hill. He grabbed some for him and his crew.
Morris arrived with Jade ( read his journal for details about that)
After Jade left we walked down a gravel road to camp. Lit a small fire and talked until after dark about love, the trail, our trials while hiking apart. We had both come to a point where we'd forgotten what inspired us to take this journey. Two sullen, slightly deflated hikers, stealth camping on a gravel road.
When I woke the next day, I sat in my tent writing. I was still thinking about home. Well, I have no home, so I was thinking about Pam. I skipped breakfast and packed up for the days hike. We had planned on going all the way to Fontana Dam, but upon arriving at cable gap shelter, we decided to call it a day. The aches in our bodies and our spirit had sapped our strength.
It was only 3pm when we stopped and a lot of other hikers continued past us until about 5 when they started stopping to stay for the night.
I lit a fire and prepared dinner. I was so hungry. I ate, prepared another dinner, ate and then made some soup. I was still hungry so I made some mashed potatoes. Finally I was satisfied, but I began to worry that if I ate three meals a day, my food wouldn't last to the next resupply point.
As usual, we sat around the fire talking. Dreamer was remarking about a hiker she'd met who had done the trail several times, and asked "what would make someone want to do this over and over?"
A man sitting on the edge of the shelter replied "I was a banker for thirty years. What made me do that over and over?"
That's when it clicked in my head, why I had started this journey in the first place. To get the hell out of the senseless life I was living. Living to work and working to live. There was no end to the stupidity of earning money to buy worthless things to try to fulfill an empty existence of working a job just to buy more crap.
I smiled at the idea that I'd broken the cycle. That I'd taken a chance to stand by my ideals and live a life of passion and purpose. Many thought I was selfish for abandoning responsibility and doing what I want. But who are they to deny me? I have not held anyone from their dreams, why should mine be unrealized? They should not. My dreams are my purpose and I'll never be a complete person unless I seek a resolution to the desires of my heart.
This hike is not my dream, it is a means to an end. An experience that will help unlock me, strengthen me in mind body and spirit. So that I am prepared to realize what I have to give to the world. We all have a purpose. I've always known that mine is not to be a cog in the economy, obediently turning on a peg so that bills get paid and goods get purchased and consumed. I am a free radical, tempting other cogs to dissent. The machine is fake, reality is what you make of it.
Out here on the edge there is beauty and hardship, honesty and danger. There is the helping hand of a stranger and the brutal fury of nature. Out here it's real, and I am as free as a bird.
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